I (24f) couldn't take it anymore and touched myself in the bathroom during his lecture

I (24f) am in my third year of law school and I need to get this off my chest because I can't tell anyone I know.

There is a professor in my department who teaches contract law. He is around 50 and he has this silver grey hair that is a little longer on top and always slightly messy like he has been running his hands through it all morning. He wears these dark fitted blazers over simple t-shirts and somehow it works perfectly on him. He has these strong hands with visible veins and when he writes on the whiteboard his forearm muscles tense and I swear my brain short circuits every time.

His voice is what really gets me though. It is this low, steady tone that fills the entire lecture hall without him even raising it. When he gets into a complicated clause or some landmark case he leans forward against the podium and his voice drops even lower and he speaks slowly like he is letting you in on a secret. It does something to me that I cannot explain.

Last Tuesday was the day I completely lost it.

He walked in wearing a charcoal blazer with the sleeves pushed up and dark jeans and his grey hair was a little damp like he had just come from somewhere outside. He smelled incredible, I could tell even from the fourth row because he walked past me to get to the front and I caught this warm, woody scent. He set his coffee down on the podium and pushed his hair back from his forehead with one hand and I felt my stomach drop.

He started talking about breach of contract and anticipatory repudiation and normally I am pretty good at taking notes but I could not focus at all. He was pacing slowly and gesturing with his hands and every time he turned to write something on the board I stared at his shoulders and the way his blazer stretched across his back. At one point he rolled his neck like it was stiff and I watched the muscles in his jaw tighten and I pressed my thighs together so hard under the desk.

I was getting wet. Like genuinely, noticeably wet. I could feel it and it had only been twenty minutes into a two hour lecture. He kept talking and every word out of his mouth made it worse. He asked the class a question and looked around the room and when his eyes passed over me I swear I stopped breathing for a second. He has these dark brown eyes that are so calm and focused and I imagined him looking at me like that up close and I almost whimpered out loud.

I couldn't sit there for another hour and a half like that. I just couldn't.

I raised my hand and asked if I could be excused for a minute. He nodded and said of course and gave me this little polite smile and even that made my pulse spike. I grabbed my bag and walked out as calmly as I could even though my legs felt shaky and my underwear was completely soaked through.

The bathroom was just down the hall. I went in and it was empty. I locked myself in the last stall and leaned back against the wall and I was already breathing hard before I even touched myself. I pulled my skirt up and slid my hand into my underwear and I was so wet that my fingers slipped immediately. I gasped at how sensitive I was, like every nerve down there was already on edge just from sitting in that room watching him.

I started rubbing my clit in slow circles and I closed my eyes and pictured him. I pictured him standing at the podium looking at me with those dark eyes. I imagined him calling me to stay after class and closing the door and pushing me gently against his desk. I imagined his big hands gripping my waist and his low voice in my ear telling me he had noticed me staring at him during lectures.

I slid two fingers inside myself and I was so wet they went in easily and I had to press my other hand over my mouth to stay quiet. I curled my fingers the way I like it and I imagined it was his fingers, those strong hands that I had been watching all semester. I imagined him being slow and deliberate about it the same way he explains a case, precise and thorough, like he wanted to understand exactly what made me react.

My knees were getting weak so I braced one hand against the wall and kept going with the other. I was rubbing my clit with my thumb while my fingers were inside and the pressure was building so fast. I pictured him kissing my neck and whispering something about how long he had wanted to do this and I bit down on my lip hard. My hips were moving on their own grinding against my hand. I could hear how wet I was and it made me even more turned on.

It took maybe three minutes. The orgasm hit me so suddenly that my legs almost buckled. I came with my hand pressed hard over my mouth and my whole body clenching around my fingers. It pulsed through me in these long waves and I stood there trembling against the wall of that bathroom stall trying not to make a sound. My thighs were shaking and I could feel myself throbbing and I kept my fingers pressed against my clit just riding it out until the last wave faded.

I stood there for another minute catching my breath. My face was flushed and my hands were trembling a little. I cleaned up and washed my hands and looked at myself in the mirror. My cheeks were pink and my eyes were a little glassy and I thought there is no way nobody will notice. But I fixed my hair and took a deep breath and walked back to class.

When I opened the door he was mid sentence about remedies for breach and he glanced up at me for just a second as I walked back to my seat. I sat down and my body still felt warm and loose and tingly. He kept talking and I picked up my pen and started taking notes and for the first time in weeks I could actually concentrate during his lecture. My mind was clear and calm. I wrote three pages of detailed notes on contractual remedies and I even answered a question he asked the class about specific performance versus damages.

He said good point and nodded at me and I smiled back and felt completely normal. Well, almost normal. Because even though I had just gotten myself off in the bathroom thinking about him, sitting there watching him talk was already starting to do something to me again. By the end of the lecture I could feel that familiar warmth building and I thought to myself I am going to need longer bathroom breaks from now on.

I have done it twice more since then. Same routine. Sit through the first part of lecture until I can't take it anymore, excuse myself, take care of it in the bathroom, come back refreshed and focused. It is honestly improving my grades because I can actually pay attention during the second half of class now.

He has no idea. He just thinks I have a small bladder or something. And I am going to keep it that way. But every time he pushes that grey hair back from his forehead and looks out at the class with those calm dark eyes, I know exactly where I am going to be five minutes later.